You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
