Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
