i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
