I'm going to jail i love you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
