Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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