Already got asked if we're dating
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
