I looked at my own cervix.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
