We named our party play list daddy issues
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
