Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
