Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
