You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
