do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
