I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
...so i touched it.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
