She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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