I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
