How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
