she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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