Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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