after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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