What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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