Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
