that's an acceptable place to lick
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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