also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
