Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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