Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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