Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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