I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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