In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
