My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
