And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
