You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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