He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
