I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
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