therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
