Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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