jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
