on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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