So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
