he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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