and you said cock pushups were impossible
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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