I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
