Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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