I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
