This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
