its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
