Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
