Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
