the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
