dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
two words...techno handjob
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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