I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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