sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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